"First we miss Mars. Then we run out of food. Now this," Francis James said. He was the leader of the colonists. He spat out the words in fear and disgust. "Pirates!"

"When you have transported colonists from earth to Mars for as long as I have," Captain Peregrin Browne said, "this is not so unusual. Open the gates."

James could not believe his ears. "You want us to surrender without a fight?"
"Most pirates are young and stupid. I know what I’m doing. Trust me."

James thought it was a mistake but Browne’s crew let them board anyway. The pirate captain was not young and he strutted on to the Last Chance like he was well aware of what a colonial transport was worth. He didn’t look stupid to James.

"Ah, Captain Hemshaw," Browne said pleasantly. "The last time I met you, you were also captaining a colonial transport. As a matter of fact, I do believe the ship you have now used to be called the Quiet Mist. I take it it’s previous owners met with misfortune?"

Hemshaw counted the men he could see that made up Browne’s crew. 47. He said, "Why aren’t you all dead?"

"Fine, thank you. And how are you?" Browne said.

"You are four months passed Mars and you have a full crew of well fed men? You should be dead by now!"

"So you have been following us passed Mars?" Browne said. "Perhaps missing Mars was not a computer error. Perhaps someone hacked into our navigation program."

"You monsters!!" James cried. "You’ve killed us all!!"

"I think that was the plan," Browne said. "’Wobble’ the compute so we overshoot Mars. Wait until the food runs out. Then collect anything of value as salvage. There’s even money in returning dead bodies. Isn’t there, Captain Hemshaw?"

"Don’t pass judgment on us," Hemshaw said. "There’s only one way you could survive this long passed Mars. You’ve been eating long pig!"

Browne’s crew looked away. They were ashamed.

"Un huh!" Hemshaw laughed. "I bet most of the colonists are gone. First the old and the sick. Then the children. Tender meat, I’ll wager."

"I guess that tells me what happened to the colonists on the Quiet Mist," Browne said. He studied the faces of the young pirate crew. "We have a saying on Mars, ‘What happens in space, stays in space.’ You don’t have to live like this."

"Are you trying to turn my crew?" Hemshaw laughed. "We’ve done the Big Dirty together. They belong to me now."

"Big Dirty? Long Pig? What’s he talking about? What happened to the Quiet Mist?" James asked, his voice cracking ever so slightly.

"You have to forgive Mr. James. He and his colonists are from Connecticut. Bad things never happen there," Browne said. He raised his voice as if James were hard of hearing. "These men are cannibals. They ate the colonists and stole their oxygen. Much as they plan to do to us."

"Oh! Good Heavens!"

"You fool!" Hemshaw said. "What do you think you’ve been eating? Haven’t you noticed people gone missing?"

Browne gestured to Hemshaw to come closer. He whispered in the pirate’s ear, "We have not done that."

"Bull!" Hemshaw said. "Even if you had hydroponics on the ship, you cannot travel indefinitely in space without restocking supplies. You can’t-"

"Let me show you," Browne said. "Your young crew can come too."

"Oh, so the colonists are separated so the living doesn’t realize what they’re eating. How many colonists are left?"

"We have 120 colonists. The same as when we left. But we also have this." Browne took them to the upper most deck of the Last Chance. He swung open huge double doors revealing an acre long pool of chocolate colored substance. It bubbled thickly and smelled like beer. A large paddle turned the stuff constantly. Above the pool, large solar panels caught the power of the sun and channeled into the pool. Electric sparks crackled through the muck.

"This is our sewage treatment plant. We’ve reverse engineered algae and yeast into their earliest forms of life. We have used them and sunlight and electrical current to recreate the primordial ooze from which all life arose."

"Are you saying…. Your crap is alive?"

Browne shrugged. "Sort of. I’m not a scientist. All I know is the whole thing undergoes photosynthesis and re-energizes the sewage, making it edible."

"Edible?"

"Yes."

"So all your people are eating crap."

"We call it charbread. We make it into these little cakes"

"I can’t see how this is possible," Hemshaw said. He knelt down by the edge of the pool and scooped up a large glob of the stuff. He shoved the mess into his mouth.

"You really shouldn’t do that," Browne said. "We refine it more than this"

"Blah!!" Hemshaw spit the foul stuff out. "That’s disgusting! Here’s what we’re going to do: boys, kill him right now. Then"

A huge wave of slop crested over the edge of the pool and swept Hemshaw away. He was gone in seconds.

"I told him not to do that. It’s alive; it eats too if it can," Browne said. "Now here’s what we’re REALLY going to do: when we get to Mars, you boys are going back to earth. Your folks’ll pay a pretty reward for you and the story is I rescued you from the pirates. If I ever find you in space again, I’ll kill you. How’s that for a plan?"

"But how will you find Mars?"

"Now that I’ve found the S.O.B. that’s been ’wobblin’ my computer, I’ll turn around and go home. I’ve made this run for 10 years. I know where Mars is."

"What about Captain Hemshaw?"

"When I’m sure he’s dead, I’ll get his body out of there," Browne said. " I may eat charbread but there are some things I simply won’t eat. Pirates are just plain evil."