A hangover is just as painful for a fairy as it is for
anybody else.

Her name was Mugwort and she had thought the school library
was the perfect place for a Christmas party because what
mortal would be hanging around a school library at
Christmas? But the calendar on the table said February.
Crap!


What time was it? She thought as she staggered out from
behind a stack of books. For that matter, what year was it?

Two students were sitting at the study table arguing. They
looked to be about thirteen or fourteen. The boy was an
African American or black or whatever was the politically
correct term these days. The girl was a perky little blonde.

Mugwort hoped they were old enough to no longer see
fairies. They were arguing about something. She tried to tip
toe away.

“What the heck is that?” Charlie Moore said.

Crap, Mugwort thought.

“Green hair…three inches tall,” the girl said. “A
fairy! Hey! Do we get three wishes?”

“Who do you think I am? Barbara Eden?”

“Maybe you can help us settle an argument,” Charlie
said. “Judy thinks she is just as good as Martin Luther
King because he fought for civil rights and she supports
animal rights.”

“Actually Martin Luther King was only helping people and
I’m working to save the whole planet.”

“I can’t believe you think fighting for my
grandfather’s rights is equal to you washing oil of a
duck!”

The librarian shushed them.

“I can’t believe you’ve found a fairy and all you
want to talk about is Martin Luther King,” Mugwort
whispered.

“I figure I’m in a library, bored to death. I must be
dreaming,” Charlie shrugged.

Mugwort pointed at Judy and said, “You’re here with
this fine young thang and you’re dreaming about Martin
Luther King?”

“She may be cute,” Charlie said. “but she keeps
opening her mouth and words come out.”

“Calling me cute trivializes women,” Judy said.

“See?” Charlie said. “All she cares about is
animals.”

“I love all animals,” Judy said.

“All animals?” Mugwort said. She snapped her fingers.

A rattlesnake appeared on the study table.

“Take it away! Take it away!” Judy cried.

Mugwort snapped her fingers again and the snake was gone.
“I thought you loved all animals.”

“I-uh-do,” Judy said. “The snake doesn’t belong in
a library. It wasn’t out of place.”

“Okay, here is an animal that is where it is supposed to
be.”

Snap went the fingers.

It was a cold February night. Judy and Charlie were in the
woods. In the not so very distance they could hear the
baying of hounds. A young black woman pushed them behind a
bush.

“Stay down,” the woman told them. “I’ll lead the
dogs away.”

She ran off.

“I think we’re runaway slaves,” Charlie said.

“Am I an African American?” Judy looked in her compact
mirror. “Oh no! Look at my hair! I have pigtails!”

“Shut up!” Charlie pleaded.

“Now this isn’t a big deal,” Mugwort said. “I mean,
the dogs are going to get you, sure, but Dr. King was saving
a people and Judy wants to save all the planet. All Harriet
Tubman is trying to do is save the two of you.”

The howling was coming closer.

“Can’t you do anything about this?” Charlie cried.

“Sure,” Mugwort handed him a jar of peanut butter.
“Here’s another fun fact. George Washington Carver
invented peanut butter. Another famous African American. Now
smear it all over your body.”

Charlie slathered a layer of peanut butter on his arms.
“And this will kill my scent so the hounds can’t track
me?”

“What?” Mugwort shook her head. “Oh, no way! Dogs
like peanut butter, so that will make you extra tasty. Why
shouldn’t the dog enjoy himself just because you’re
having a bad day?”

A large hound crashed through the brush. Judy screamed as
it lunged at her. Fortunately Mugwort snapped her fingers
and brought them back to the library.

“Be quiet!!” the librarian commanded.

“I’m sorry,” Charlie said. “She saw something scary
in a book.”

The librarian glared at them suspiciously. Judy was blond
again but her hair was still in braids. Charlie’s arms
were covered in peanut butter.

“Peanut butter…good for ashy skin….” Charlie said
lamely. “Judy screamed because… her hair… it was
dangerous…”

He smiled weakly and the librarian begrudgingly resumed her
duties.

“Now how about you?” Mugwort said to Charlie. “Do you
think Martin Luther King is the most important man ever?”

“Hold on,” Charlie said. “Don’t snap your fingers
anymore. Next thing you know, I’ll be back in the 60s with
Dr. King. Maybe you’ll want me to take a bullet for him.

It seemed the whole world froze. Judy raised a quizzical
eyebrow.

“Could - could I save Dr. King?” Charlie asked.

“That’s a little above my pay grade,” Mugwort said.
“But I think Martin Luther King would be proud of you.
Instead I think I will just snap my fingers and you will
forget-”

“No more finger snapping,” Charlie said. “As far as
I’m concerned, I had a dream.“

****

“You were supposed to test the mortals to see who is
worthy to be king, not who remembers Martin Luther
King!!!” Queen Mauve cried.

“So sue me,” Mugwort said, sipping a thimble of beer.

“American Fairies!!” Queen Mauve ranted. “You don’t
change pumpkins into coaches! You don’t help girls find
their handsome prince! What kind of fairy are you??”

“I’m a capitalism fairy. I look for mortals who are
laying around wishing for things to get better and I play
tricks on them until they get off their lazy butts and do
something for themselves.”

“That isn’t what I told you to do!! That isn’t
following orders!!”

Mugwort snapped fingers and the Queen Mauve disappeared
into the unknown. Mugwort took a long drink from her beer
and said, “I’ll probably never get to heaven the way I
hate authority figures.”

But since she was a fairy that didn’t really make much
difference anyway.